“Imagine one thousand suns rising at the same time. Dance in the field.”
— @yokoono

“Honestly, please: can we stop talking about this? I just wanna get back to talking about eating wife’s ass. Still not too fat too fuck.”
— @thatkevinsmith (filmmaker Kevin Smith)

“My mom took a bite into a giant jalenpeno sitting across from me and it squirt right into my eye….BURNING!!!!”
— @brittgastineau (Brittny Gastineau)

“Breathing gives your brain the oxygen it needs to think through anything… Breath… cause when you do..is forever. WV”
— @WillyVille (Wilmer Valderrama)

“I will lift my judgment against someone. My every thought has the power to wound or to heal.”
— @DeepakChopra

“I am back ur worst enemy the truth I am here to humble u and put u in ur place if u don’t like it kiss my balls inbred loosers”
— @JoseCanseco

“My brain is traveling at the speed of light and I cant slow down my electromagnetic wave. Does anyone else have this problem?”
— @RealLindaPerry

“You have to deal with the idiot if you want the savant.”
— @johncmayer

“What are the symptoms of Swine Flu?”
— @lindsaylohan

“Friday the 13th! Jason Vorhees is one of my favorites. Still don’t understand how he caught people running and he just walked though.”
— @KingJames (LeBron James)

“How many more times can I hit the darn snooze button?! I usually wake up with a smize but today, I have no passion in my eyes. At all!”
— @tyrabanks

“Reincarnation is recycling the illusion Heaven is upgrading the illusion Hell is downgrading it RT @windymulia: is there heaven or hell”
— @DeepakChopra

“I don’t know how anyone of American heritage could be a Reid supporter”
— @IngrahamAngle (Laura Ingraham)

“Im SO ready to snook the night and snook for love!!!!!!”
— @Sn00ki

“BELIEVE! I mean really BELIEVE and you will get all you want and more! But you have to BELIEVE to the point they think your CRAZY I’m CRAZY!”
— @iamdiddy

“Don’t you hate when girls send you a picture of … anything other themselves!!!”
— @kanyewest

“You won’t even know when your dead its like never living,same ass before you where ever born”
— @JoseCanseco

“Just lost the hugest sack of weed I am so pissed off”
— @bestycoastyy (Best Coast)

“G00d finds at Italian gas station. This hangover feels like a flu. My sweat smells like alcohol.”
— @wavveswavves (Wavves)

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“There are lots of things I can do now, but at the top of the list is getting a tattoo & a motorcycle. What’s something you’d never do?”
— @kingthings (Larry King)

“I overheard LeBron sayin “he’s feeling pretty BULLish, things r HEATing up, but he’s not sure where he’s gonna NET out on this!”
— @aplusk (Ashton Kutcher)

“A waitress just hit me – punched me for no reason”
— @lindsaylohan

“HAPPY CANADA DAY! In all my adventures, I’ve been shown over and over that NO ONE PARTIES HARDER THAN CANADIANS!”
— @AndrewWK

Chris Brown

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Match the tweet to the Twittiot who tweeted it:

1. “@KimKardashian you should have came!!!!!”
2. “ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you love someone/something let them go and if they return it was real ‘love’…”
3. “Unlike marching, nobody can stop your thoughts.”
4. “W/ The Hatin Industry at an all time High,Employing all the haters-Time n a half w benefits-only requirement is th obsession to ride my jock”
5. “How crazy a sliced brain!”

A. @yokoono
B. @BrittGastineau
C. @ItstheSituation
D. @KourtneyKardash
E. @chrisbrown

Answers below:

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1. B, 2. E, 3. A, 4. C, 5. D

“you haven’t heard a demanding bird until you’ve been around a flock of Sulphur crested Cockatoo’s like the ones that live in Woolloomooloo”
— @russellcrowe

“I Toot it and Boot it! I Toot it and Boot it! Oooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh”
— @NickCannon

“Battle of th Sexes Q: Fellas do u prefer real titties whether they are small, sagging, stretch marked out ect over brand new fake titties?”
— @ludajuice (Ludacris)

“It’s becoming clear President O-Hazelwood’s toxic & irresponsibly slow response to the Gulf oil spill is due to his being anti-marine life.”
— @AndrewBreitbart

“I am back ur worst enemy the truth I am here to humble u and put u in ur place if u don’t like it kiss my balls inbred loosers”
— @JoseCanseco

“If you are are nimble and graceful on Twitter are you ‘light on your tweet’?”
— @GregMitch (Greg Mitchell)

“TRY THIS FUCKERS.,you will never get this>>>>..’Take a look at yourself or your dreams,your losing sight’ ”
— @NikkiSixx

“Go on carrying heavier stones until they become so heavy that the whole city starts to look lighter than what you are carrying.”
— @yokoono

“OMG! Corey Haim dead at 38. Another tragic star overdose. So many this year. Why does this happen?”
— @BonnieFuller (Hollywoodlife.com president and editor)

“Breathing gives your brain the oxygen it needs to think through anything… Breath… cause when you do.. is forever.. WV.”
— @WillyVille (Wilmer Valderrama)

“Never wait until a Dragon is up on u blowing his hot breath on your face before u start defending urself!”
— @RevRunWisdom (the Rev. Run)

“What are the symptoms of Swine Flu?”
— @lindsaylohan

Match the tweet to the Twittiot who tweeted it.

1. “Wonder if its gonna snow today in sibera? Sorry dumb question”.
2. “Blastin filthy dirty house beats..on to tha next!!! Yeaaa buddayy”
3. “Does anybody know why Bill Cosby’s eyes look the way they do? Is he going blind? I love him, reminds me of my dad!”
4. “Say what U want but ‘Jersey Shores’ is a phenomonon (sp?) that’s sweeping the nation from Vera Wang to DeCaprio … ”
5. “The Dalai Lama … wears flip flops & sits cross legged even in a chair. Where do you think he gets his flip flops?”

A. @SherriEShepherd
B. @aplusk (Ashton Kutcher)
C. @kingsthings (Larry King)
D. @Sn00ki (Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi)
E. @kimkardashian

Answers below …

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Answers: 1. B, 2. D, 3. E, 4. A, 5. C

“Honestly, please: can we stop talking about this? I just wanna get back to talking about eating wife’s ass. Still not too fat too fuck.”
— @thatkevinsmith

“Londizzle”
— @keshasuxx (Ke$ha)

“Your thoughts become your life. thinkin good feelin good. thinkin bad feelin bad. you know what i mean? think about it!”
— @benjaminmadden

“It’s all about the stool softeners.”
— @RiversCuomo